How to Deal with Difficult People at Work

Written by Maria Rivera.

We have all encountered a difficult person to work with— from the dreaded group projects as an undergrad to dealing with a coworker who shoots down ideas but does not offer any suggestions. It can be daunting going into a meeting knowing the type of opposition you will face. So how do you deal with these uncomfortable situations as a professional? Trudi Spring Allison has some advice for you. She has 25 years of experience helping organizations achieve better productivity and happier workplaces through positive relationship building. She discussed techniques you can employ to avoid a tense situation over Careers Over Coffee in February.

If you have to regularly work with someone who you know is going to behave in a negative way, Trudi advised, plan for it. Get smarter and realize that anger feeds anger. “Unless you can change the way you react, you can’t change the way you interact,” she explained.

If you do become embroiled in an escalated situation, practice the following:

Respond with a non-judgemental comment.
“I hadn’t thought of that.”
Be aware of your own physical response.
Are you clenching your teeth or your fists? Are you rolling your eyes?
Ask a heartfelt and thoughtful question.
“What could I have brought today that would help this situation?” “I guess this meeting disappointed you, how could it have helped you more?”

In many situations, removing your ego from the equation will help ease it since a large part of dealing with difficult people is controlling your reaction to them. Trudi reminds us that where attention goes, energy flows so focusing on this person will only make a tense situation worse. “If you think 100 percent of the problem is them, then you are leaving 100 percent of the solution to them,” she said.

If you would like to delve deeper into the world of conflict resolution, Trudi suggested two books: “Dealing with People You Can’t Stand” by Rick Kirschner and Rick Brinkman and 101 Ideas & Insights About Resolving Conflict by Susan Fee.

Careers Over Coffee is a relaxed gathering of women discussing career-related topics. Be sure to Like WCA on Facebook to keep up-to-date on all of our events!